


you give love a bad name

by bi_lovely



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Dark!Luke, M/M, Mentions of Darth Vader - Freeform, Mentions of War, Sad Leia, Sad Luke, Sad everybody, dont ignore the warnings, han/leia were never a thing, i wrote half of this 2 years ago and finished it today whoops, its a pretty dark fic gonna be honest with you, leia is a pure but tired bean, sad han, the violence really isnt all that bad but i wanna be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-17 02:26:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11266008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_lovely/pseuds/bi_lovely
Summary: He broke every promise he made to the Galaxy, every promise he made to the Jedi name, and every promise he made to the people who meant more to him than anything else. Still, Han was so sure he could restore him to the Light.





	you give love a bad name

“I love you,” he’d said. 

 

Han had smiled and held him a little closer, a little tighter, and he’d said, “I love you too.” A moment’s pause, and then, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

Luke had been insisting that he was fine every time that Han or Leia or anyone asked, and the questioned had been asked often since he had arrived back from his confrontation with Vader and Emperor Palpatine. He answered every time with, “I’m fine”. 

 

But that didn’t stop Han from noticing the way he trembled whenever he held him; the way he could never stand still, he always had to be swaying, tapping his foot, drumming his finger,  _ moving.  _

 

Luke was refusing help. That’s what it all was. Luke was refusing to let the people who were closest to him, the people who loved him more than anything else, help him and Han feared that if Luke was to go this alone then the weight of it all would drive him mad. 

 

“I’m fine,” Luke had said for probably the hundredth time. He smiled softly then kissed Han. “I promise.”

 

But then, what are promises for if not to be broken?

 

***

 

“Captain Solo.” A man addressed Han formally. “General Organa requests your presence at once.”

 

Han nodded sharply to dismiss the man the strode past him without so much as a single word of thanks or even acknowledgment. Straight to Leia’s office he went and he knocked thrice on the door.

 

The door swung open and Leia, who had streaks of grey beginning to show in her chestnut brown hair, stood there and smiled gently. Anyone else wouldn’t have noticed the grey, it was so barely there, but Han noticed. 

 

He noticed the grey in her hair and the dark circles under her eyes and the wrinkles beginning to appear in her face. Han noticed these things because he knew Leia well, knew that she was just too young. The wrinkles that were appearing shouldn’t have been there for many years to come. Then again, he supposed that was to be expected for someone like Leia, someone who had seen all of the things that Leia had seen; someone who had watched her home planet blown to smithereens before her eyes while she was powerless to do anything to stop it happening; someone who was thrown into a war only to discover that she had a twin brother and that her father was the man who had tortured her and nearly killed her; someone who had watched her brother, her  _ friend,  _ drive himself more and more insane until he’d finally gone Dark. 

 

Han also noticed these things because they were precisely what was happening to him. 

 

“Han,” Leia greeted warmly. “You know you never have to knock.”

 

Han followed her into her office. “Why did you want to see me?”

 

“What? Can I not just have a chat with my good friend once in a while?” Leia asked and she leaned against her desk. “It’s been too long since we’ve seen each other, Han.”

 

Han crossed his arms. “You know what today is.”

 

Leia’s smile disappeared then. “Two years,” she said, nodding slowly. Her voice had gone from warm and inviting to distant and broken as simply as that. “Two years since we last saw him.”

 

“Yeah, well, I feel as if we’ve been seeing plenty of him lately,” Han huffed. “Or, at least,  _ hearing  _ about him. All the shit he’s been getting into.” He paused for a moment then laughed bitterly. “Isn’t it ironic that he ended one war just to start another one?”

 

“He’s the real reason I sent for you, you know,” Leia sighed. 

 

“Figures,” Han said. “What the fuck did he do now?”

 

Leia sighed a second time. “Sent Stormtroopers to wipe out another village.”

 

Han shook his head slowly. “Which planet? Actually, no. Forget I asked. I don’t want to know. Is that all you needed to say to me? Because I need to go and find myself at the bottom of a bottle.”

 

“No.” Leia frowned. She looked Han dead in the eyes as she spoke. “We’ve found him.”

 

Han’s heart skipped a beat. “You  _ what? _ ”

 

“We’ve located him,” Leia said and she swallowed hard. “He’s working on building another weapon. Another Death Star, perhaps. Something of that sort, anyway. Or, I imagine, something much worse than anything Vader ever could have thought up. He’s hiding out on Hoth for the time being.”

 

Han only grunted in response. His mind was beginning to wander in a million different directions and he couldn’t seem to keep up with any of them, but they were all tugging at his brain, demanding his attention. 

 

“Luke was a much better Jedi than Anakin Skywalker ever was,” Leia said, “but he is also a much more fearsome villain.”

 

Han nodded slowly. 

 

Leia tilted her head. “Han, what are you thinking?”

 

“You know what I’m thinking.” Han stared at the floor as he spoke.

 

“Yes, but I need to hear you say it out loud.” Leia crossed her arms.

 

“I’m going after him.”

 

Leia sighed. “ _ Han. _ ”

 

“I’m going to make him remember who he used to be.” Han looked hopefully into Leia’s face, willing her to believe he could do it, that he could mold Luke into  _ Luke  _ once more, but now Leia refused to look at him. “I’m going to bring him home, Leia!”

 

“Han,” she sighed. 

 

“He went after Vader because he knew there was still good in him,” Han said. “Well now  _ I  _ know that there’s still good in  _ Luke.  _ And you’ve got to know that too!”

 

“Of course there is — the Force — he may try to block me out, but I can still  _ feel him  _ —” Leia was shaking her head. “But Han, you can’t —”

 

“I can,” Han said. “I can make him remember, I can make him  _ see.  _ You know I’m the one for this job.”

 

“Han!” Leia snapped. 

 

“What?!”

 

Leia frowned, but at least she was finally looking at him. “You can’t walk in there alone.”

 

“I have to,” Han insisted. “If I bring soldiers in there then he’ll kill every single one of them. You know that we can’t just send our troops in there blindly without any idea of how to fight him. He can’t be fought! You and I know that better than anyone!”

 

“Yes, I know! That’s why I’m telling you that you can’t go alone!” Leia exclaimed. “You can’t go at all! We will formulate a plan, find a way to send our people in there and  _ capture him  _ and  _ bring him to us  _ and then we can arrange for you to speak with him, but I won’t lose you too, Han.”

 

Han shook his head. “It won’t work.”

 

“You have to have faith in our people,” Leia said.

 

“I’m sorry, Leia,” Han said, “but we know where he is. For the first time in two years, Luke is in reach. I’m sorry but I can’t just walk away from this. I can’t just leave this in someone else’s hands. I’ve got to see him.”

 

“Han,  _ please  _ listen to sense —”

 

“I can bring him home,” Han said firmly. “I love him, and he loves me. I can do this.”

 

“What if he doesn’t love you anymore?” Leia asked and Han’s face went from desperate and pleading to red and angry in a moment. Leia hastened to add, “He’s not the Luke that we once knew, Han! He’s a different person! We can try to make him who he once was but it’s going to take time and until that time —”

 

“Don’t say that,” Han snarled.

 

“It’s true,” Leia huffed. “And it’s high time we both accept it. I have to accept that — that right now he’s not my brother. Right now he’s a  _ monster. _ ”

 

“No!” Han persisted. “Don’t say that! You already sound like you’re giving up on him! I’ll bring him back.”

 

“I know there’s still good in him, but he went after Vader for that exact reason and look how that turned out.” Leia frowned. 

 

“Vader turned from the Dark side, that’s how it turned out!” Han shouted. 

 

“He also  _ died! _ ” Leia shot back. “Han, I’m going to be honest, I — I am  _ scared.  _ I’m really scared. I will do everything in my power to restore him to who he once was — my brother, the man you love, our best friend — but I’m starting to think we can’t win this war and save him. We can’t have both. I think in order to save the innocent people who we’ve been fighting for these past two years, he’s going to have to — he’s going to — we’re going to have to kill —”

 

Han narrowed his eyes at her. “Shut up,” he snapped. 

 

“Han, please just listen to me, I don’t like it either but —”

 

But Han refused to listen. He turned and ran from Leia, stormed from the room, slammed the door shut behind himself. He just  _ ran.  _

 

***

 

It was easy enough to get he needed from the system. It wasn’t like Leia could hide anything from him in the system — they had designed it together. It was easy to get off the planet where the rebel base was built, as well. He had his own ship, after all. 

 

He thought, perhaps, that he should have asked Chewbacca to join him, but as soon as the thought struck him he shook his head. He had to do this alone. He was the only one who could bring Luke home, he was sure of it.

 

It was disturbingly easy to get into Luke’s hideout. It was as if Luke was expecting him to come; like he  _ wanted  _ him to come. It wasn’t a comforting thought in the slightest and it left a bad feeling settling deep within him. 

 

“Hello, Han.”

 

That voice. That  _ voice.  _ It made Han feel, curiously enough, warm right down to his fingertips while it also chilled him to the bone.

 

That voice had once utter sweet nothings in Han’s ear. Han had made that voice moan in every way imaginable. That voice was cold and empty now.

 

Han turned slowly to face him — the man he loved. He was  _ Luke  _ somewhere beneath all he had become no matter what Leia said. Han still loved him, and he still loved Han. He  _ had to. _

 

Luke bared his weapon at his side; bright red, glowing, lighting up his face ominously. 

 

“New lightsaber,” Han commented lamely.

 

Luke cocked one eyebrow. “Same jacket.”

 

Han scoffed. “New jacket.”

 

Luke sighed. The glowing red of his weapon receded into the base and Luke tucked the object into a loop at his waist. He crossed his and, Han thought, he looked much too casual, all things considered. “I suspected that you would be foolish enough to come to me but I never would have guessed that Leia would be foolish enough to allow it.”

 

“She wasn’t,” Han said. “But she’s not my boss.”

 

Luke hummed. “She is, actually.”

 

Han glared.    
  


“I did think that maybe you wouldn’t want to come,” Luke admitted and Han dared to think to himself that he sounded just a little bit vulnerable. “I thought that maybe Leia wouldn’t have to force some sense into you because you’d never want to see me again.”

 

“I have told you time and time again that there’s nothing you can do to make me stop loving you,” Han said without a care for how pathetic he sounded. 

 

Luke only hummed once more in response. 

 

There was a long pause and then Luke spoke. “I’ve been waiting for this for two years. Waiting to see you again, waiting for you to come and guide me back to the Light.”

 

Han’s face lit up. “So you do realize that there is still good in you? That the Light is still there?”

 

Luke laughed coldly. “Han Solo, you pitiful thing. You sound more like me or Leia than like yourself.” He sighed. “But yes, of course, I am one with the Force. It flows in and around me and tells me all that I need to know. It shows me who I am more than a mirror could, more than my friends could, and even more than I could.”

 

“So come with me,” Han said and he held out his hand. 

 

Luke didn’t laugh like Han expected him to, but he shook his head. “No. This is who I am now, Han. This is the path I have chosen.”

 

“This is the path you’ve been driven to by madness,” Han snapped. “That’s my fault. I should have watched you more carefully, kept a closer eye on you. I knew you were hurting. I didn’t know how much.”

 

“None of this is your fault.” Luke frowned. “It’s all on me.”

 

Han sighed heavily. “You admit there’s still Light in you.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then come with me!” Han requested once again. “Make the right decision, take the right path. You did it before, time after time. Choose the Light one more time for me, Luke, and I swear I’ll never leave you to suffer silently on your own again.”

 

“It’s too late for me now, Han,” Luke said almost mournfully. “It’s too late for all of us now.”

 

“It’s not.” Han shook his head and he dared to take a few steps toward Luke. 

 

“It is,” Luke said. “I’m being pulled in a million different directions and it’s time for that to stop. It’s time for my suffering to truly end. I need the pain to stop.”

 

“I will make the pain stop if you come with me, I  _ swear! _ ” Han pleaded. “Please!”

 

“I know how to rip out the Light,” Luke continued as if Han hadn’t said a word and he took a few steps toward Han. “I just don’t know if I’m ready to do it.”

 

“If you’re not ready to rip out all of the good buried deep down inside yourself then maybe that’s a sign,” Han said. “You’re a  _ good person,  _ Luke, I know it.”

 

“You misunderstand me,” Luke said, head tilted. “I  _ am  _ ready to be rid of the Light. I don’t know if I’m ready to do what it will take to be rid of it.”

 

“That’s still a sign,” Han huffed. 

 

“Han,” Luke sighed, stepping even closer. He was only a few feet away now. 

 

“Come with me,” Han said desperately. “End the war, come home with me. We can be  _ happy. _ ”

 

“That would be wonderful, Han, it really would,” Luke said and he reached out his hand invitingly, palm up, fingers spread. He smiled — it was a  _ real  _ smile, warm and gentle. 

 

Han took his hand tentatively and squeezed it. Luke squeezed back. Han slowly pulled him in closer. 

 

“I love you,” Han said. 

 

“I know,” Luke replied. He was so close to Han now that for a moment the tips of their noses brushed. 

 

“Do you still love me?” Han asked. 

 

Luke chuckled softly but it wasn’t cold or harsh. He took his empty hand and held the side of Han’s face. “Of course I do. Nothing could ever make me stop loving you because — because I don’t  _ just love  _ you. You’re a part of me, Han. The Light in me. You and Leia are the part of me that’s still good.”

 

Han smiled. “Come with me, Luke.”

 

“I want to.” Luke returned Han’s smile. “That sounds nice.” He tilted his head up and kissed Han sweetly, slid his hand down the side of Han’s face, over his shoulder and down his chest. “But I can’t,” he whispered when their lips parted. “I’m too far gone.”

 

Han squinted his eyes. “You said you expected me to come. You let me in, didn’t you.”

 

“I am so sorry.”

 

Han gasped as bright, glowing red shot right through his heart. He keeled forward and grabbed onto Luke. 

 

“So, so sorry,” Luke whispered and he let Han crumple to the floor, limp and lifeless; watched his eyes roll up in his head.

 

Luke replaced his lightsaber in the loop at his waist before he knelt down to cradle the back of Han’s head. He looked down at the man curiously. He’d been so sure that once Han was gone the Light would go out, but as he he reached up to touch his face and found his cheeks wet he could only feel the Light inside of him growing. 

 

He stood up straight, stared straight ahead. Surely it would leave him with time. That  _ must  _ be it. He was rid of Han, he only needed time now.

 

But as he strode away, making a point of not looking back at his dead lover, he was unsure and for reasons he couldn’t explain to himself he couldn’t stop crying. 


End file.
